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John McCain prides himself as a straight-talker, but he’s got nothing on Armenians. Armenians are the original straight-talkers. They have no shame and no mercy to tell it as it is, especially when it comes to describing how people look. They will tell you (even to your face) that you’re too thin, too ugly, too smelly and too fat.

It’s not that they mean you harm. In fact, they have no idea that calling you fat is insulting. And believe me, Armenians are not meaning to be offensive and mean. Mean spiritidness is not high on the “characters” list for Armenians. Instead, Armenians will claim that telling you that you have gained a little pudge is truth-telling. You may not realize that you have gained a few pounds since the last holiday gathering. Perhaps, you don’t realize that that shirt doesn’t fit you very well, and we’d hate for you to embarass yourself by wearing that again. So, think of the Armenian as your best buddy, as someone who will tell you as it is because we want the best for you.

You might argue that Armenians could use a litlte more tact in communication, but remember, tact is not a value for Armenians. You are not going to find tact among Armenians, but did I mention that you’ll find people who will gladly call you fat?

So here’s my advice on how to respond the “fat” comment:

• Don’t call the person fat back. Why? Because usually the person who is calling you fat to your face is little old grandma, and such ‘disrespect’ won’t get you far (and besides, it will show you to be defensive).
• Work on losing a little weight before you see everyone–i.e. the family. Even if you lose half a pound, that’s enough, cause you can respond with all integrity, “Actually, I’ve lost a little weight.”
• Blame it on the fact that you’ve quit smoking. (And if you’re Armenian, than chances are you are a smoker!)

Good Luck!

It is no judgment or insult to say that Armenians have big noses. It’s simply stating a fact. A fair description of an Armenian is to point out how well endowed his or her nose is (the gene for big noses does not discriminate between men and women).

Whether it’s an attempt to make peace with the size of the nose or a window into self-hatred, Armenians love to bring attention to the size of the nose. Now some of these noses are really big and really ugly, and so you would think that people may try their hardest to hide or defray attention from this body apart.

But Armenians will do no such thing. Instead, they will highlight the benefits of a large nose and proudly point out that Armenianness is tied up to the size of one’s nose. Legend has it that on the day that God was distributing noses, Armenians asked for the biggest ones upon learning that they were free.